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TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: FitzChivalry Farseer (a.k.a. Changer, Catalyst, Newboy, Boy, Brother, Bastard, etc.)
Type: royal bastard
Manufacturer: Chade Industries, ltd.
Site of Manufacture: Greater Moonseye
Height: 180cm
Weight: 72 kg
Hair Colour: Black (white streak optional)
Eyes: Black
Length: Data not available
Electrical Connection: Not necessary
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Your FITZ has been designed to be secretive and effective. His controls are voice activated, with additional tactile features. Please state your instructions clearly in English. Alternatively you can slap your FITZ gently 'round the back of the head to gain his attention.
Remember that your FITZ is not just decorative; he has 101 practical uses. For example:
Assassin:
As a fully qualified royal assassin FITZ has a vast knowledge of poisonous potions and is very skilled with both knifes and daggers. He has a proven track record and will fulfill most of his assignation in a secretive and pleasant manner .
**CAUTION** An occasional lapse in secrecy might occur. FITZ units that accidentally switch to 'Berserker' mode during an assassination might attract the attention of bystanders and will leave a messy and disturbing scene behind.
Scribe / Ghostwriter:
Your FITZ is programmed to compose beautifully crafted prose and has published a well received autobiography. He is versed in calligraphy and capable to fulfill most of your secretarial needs.
Teaching:
The FITZ can emphathize with the inner turmoil of most hormone ridden youngsters and he has the ability to imprint skill commands on susceptible minds. This makes him an ideal teacher for unruly teenage boys.
Dog Trainer:
The FITZ has a natural affinity with dogs and an almost canine perception of life and the universe. Since he will use his wit to communicate with the neighbourhood dogs even against your explicit wishes, you might as well hire him out as a dog trainer or walker. Your FITZ will be grateful and you will have a new source of income.
** NOTE ** This option is only open to owners who did not activate their NIGHTEYES unit.
Cosmetic Surgeon:
After installing the "Skill Upgrade II" to your unit, FITZ will be able to remove scars and unsightly blemishes through skill-healing. Your model will also be able to treat serious injuries, but licensing laws prevent your unit from practicing medicine without a medical degree.
*** CAUTION *** Your FITZ is a fully functional 6 Duchies male and is capable of providing many other services around the home. However certain tasks should not be undertaken by owners who are in a stable relationship with another human. Improper use of a FITZ by such owners can result in permanent damage to marital contentment and the commencement of divorce proceedings.
*dör av skratt*